But there is only one of her and the arrangement which put her on the throne connects us to our history and keeps the position out of the hands of others who might want it for other reasons.One of the many events I witnessed was an investiture. Now, as each recipient comes forward, the ever attentive equerry major whispers a brief reminder in her ear: "Wife died of cancer - now raises money for Cancer Research; founded a centre for drug addicts; runs a cats' home in Banffshire."The ceremony has been performed a thousand times, and it passes off efficiently and effectively. It is a long-running saga not so much because of the behaviour of the performers but because of the devotion of the audience. One man is king because everyone else thinks of themselves as subjects.

Much of the system is an arrangement for seeing that to those whom much hath been given much more will be given. Of course, hair-shirted reformers would like to dispense with the whole pantomime, from the crown jewels to the strips of silk being pinned on the chests of the people being awarded medals. You might be president for a week.But having seen some of the royal life close up, I don't think it much of a reward I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Of course, royalty lead lives of immense privilege and want for nothing much. But it comes at the price of endless public events at which they are required to read out speeches either designed to dignify their politicians or else of such staggering banality that it must be hard enough not to fall asleep mid-sentence.The key to the survival of the royal show is not so much to do with any conspiracy by powerful vested interests, but because it is clearly what the people want. In my republican days I had an easy answer to the royalists' predictable question, "Well, I suppose you'd prefer a President Thatcher or Blair would you, eh?" No, I said, it could just be a prize in the national lottery You might win £10m. I don't like lying and I was lying to cover up lies.When I told my mum I was gay she was shocked and started crying, but she said everything was going to be all right I was trembling and my teeth were going It was a mix of dread and relief I cried too, but I knew I'd done the right thing She said she would tell my dad because I didn't want do.

He dealt with it in his own way and we've never got on as well as we do now. He's accepted it just as my mum has.I started at police training school several days later. I wanted to join the police because I thought it would be exciting and no day would be the same. How they would react to my sexuality was at the back of my mind and I didn't join with the intention of telling anyone. But I played a joke on a lad, who unknown to me was gay, and he reported me for homophobia I got investigated so I had to tell my bosses.